Nobody Plays the Victim Better Than The One Who Caused the Damage
Nobody plays the victim louder than the one who caused the damage in the first place.
Gosh, it took me years to figure that out.
Maybe you know the type? Maybe you read that, and someone came to mind — someone who caused problems and crossed boundaries — and then the minute you stood your ground and responded? POOF! Suddenly, you’re the bad guy.
The next thing you know, they’re running around telling everybody what you did, leaving out the details and stuff that happened before you finally looked at them and said, "Enough."
We’ve all been there, and it hurts.
But at a certain point, you have to stop thinking you need to correct every version of the story floating around about you. Otherwise, you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to defend yourself to people who have already decided what they want to believe.
You know what happened.
The other person knows what happened.
And sometimes, that’s just going to have to be enough.
If you were in the wrong, own it and apologize. But don’t take responsibility for someone else’s bad behavior just because they won’t take responsibility for themselves.
Instead, let them tell their story and sing out a chorus of excuses and accusations. You don’t have to chase it down, and you don’t have to exhaust yourself explaining your side to anyone who will listen.
In other words, don’t fight back. Move forward.
Shift your mindset and energy to this: I know who I am. I know what happened. And I am going to let my character speak louder than their manufactured version of the story.
Because sometimes the person making the most noise is the one hoping to distract everyone from the mess they created in the first place.
Relax and let it go. Move on. Your true friends will stay with you and the rest will eventually wash out in the cycle. It always does.
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