Red Lights Are Like Weddings, They Bring Out The Worst In People

Do you want to know what I hate about driving, besides driving? Being the first car at the red light.

Have you ever noticed how high-pressure that position is or how it doesn’t offer the freedom other spots in the red light line do?

When you are first in line, there is an unspoken rule that you should patiently spend your time doing nothing but staring at the red light and waiting for it to change to green.

That means no spacing out in a guilty fog. No scrolling on your phone. No reapplying lip gloss and no bending over, looking on the floor trying to find the French fry you just dropped. (Not that I do those things…ahem…)

You are expected to sit there like a coiled rattlesnake, ready to strike. The very second the light turns green, you must press the gas pedal, move quickly but still at the speed limit like a courteous driver, and allow as many cars as possible to drive through the intersection.

Otherwise, oh my god, oh my god, everyone behind you turns into the world’s most impatient, pissed off driver, honks their horn and gets all up in your grille because they have to wait a few freaking seconds. The tragedy. Oh, the tragedy of it all.

And then you’re all Uh oh and spend the next few minutes reeling with the sound of angry car horns echoing in your head, as you drive slowly to the next light feeling like a spectacularly shitty driver while hoping someone will pull in front of you so you don’t have to be first in line AGAIN.