First World Problems

Do you have a phrase that people regularly use that rubs you the wrong way and makes you want to turbo-gag every time you hear it? You know, things like “Don’t go there”, “Touch base,” or “It is what it is.”

I don’t find those phrases especially annoying, but there is one that drives me batty. It is the snarky, condescending way people throw around “first-world problems.”

I mean, if you think about it, it doesn’t even make sense.

If you live in a “first world” country, as Americans do, the phrase is an oxymoron because all our problems are “first world problems.” 

That means when someone complains about things like their salad not having enough asparagus tips, a Starbucks coffee that isn’t particularly flavorful, or the water in their swimming pool being too cold, they have “a problem.”

Should you come upon someone who says something like, “I wish I had regular access to electricity and drinking water that wasn’t polluted with fecal matter, bacteria, parasites, and viruses.” or someone who says “I’m malnourished and have cholera and dysentery,” it would be legit okay to say, “Third World problems,” and maybe add something empathetic like, “How can I help you?” (which is an excellent response to anyone upset about anything) to avoid sounding like those condescending, bullying “First World Problem” people who regularly use that phrase to remind someone that their problem doesn’t matter and they should shut up.

By the way, I totally get that complaining about the phrase “first-world problems” is the very definition of a first-world problem.

Har. Har. Har.