A Note To Myself About Yoga Pants

Dear Self:

At least once a month, but hopefully more often, take a few minutes and hold your yoga pants up to the light. It can be sunlight streaming through a window, a bathroom light, or even the pendant light hanging over the island in your kitchen. It doesn’t matter.

What matters is whether you can see the light through your pants. If so, everyone else can, too. That means when you’re doing squats at the gym and the fluorescent lights in the workout room hit your thinly veiled ass at a certain angle - dear God - everyone behind you feels like they are wearing x-rays specs.

Yoga pants should not be a window to your soul. Keep your butt covered with a generous thread count and ditch those thin, transparent yoga pants with the disappearing crotch, frayed ankles and almost non-existent fabric. 

Even if they have always been your favorite pair, find the courage to say goodbye and lay them to rest. Bury them under the cereal box and coffee grounds in the kitchen trash, and then promise yourself you won’t be tempted to resurrect them like you did once with a thrown-away slice of cake.

And then, begin your search for a new favorite pair of yoga pants - that rare pair that makes your booty poop without showing every dimple, doesn’t need to be pulled up to your nipples and won’t cut off your circulation while giving legit tummy control. 

Everyone standing behind you in exercise class will be eternally grateful.

Sincerely, Yourself