The Lies Women Are Taught About Keeping the Peace

Hey Self!

I’m going to talk to you about something you already know, but often forget. Think of it as a little refresher course.

You’ve been conditioned to keep the peace, smooth things over, and protect other people’s comfort at the expense of your own. I’m talking about how you’ve been hesitant to call out bad behavior and instead, quietly tolerated it.

You know I’m right, but don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re a woman, and it comes with the territory. Society and other women actually expect you to do that. But that sh*t doesn’t serve you. It drags you down, keeps you quiet, and makes you question your self-worth.

I know you’ve been working on growth and enlightenment, so here are five truths that come with that type of change:

  1. If someone treats you sh*tty and their behavior casts them in a negative light, that’s between them and their behavior. It’s not a reflection of you. You’re allowed to talk about it, preferably in a non-gossipy way and preferably with that person.

  2. Telling the truth about how you were treated isn’t bitterness. It’s clarity. You shouldn’t be willing to carry the burden of protecting someone’s image when they had no problem damaging yours.

  3. The truth sounds harsh when someone benefits from your silence. Bullies and troublemakers enjoy your silence, and they enjoy it when no one challenges them. It makes their fragile egos feel strong and powerful.

  4. Entire social circles form around enabling toxic behavior, mostly because women avoid confrontation for a variety of dumb reasons: it feels uncomfortable, they want to be likable, they risk exclusion if they speak up, they’re avoiding consequences, and blah blah blah. Don’t be afraid to step out of that comfort zone.

  5. Some people would rather eat glass than stand up to cruelty, gossip, exclusion, and manipulation because it’s easier than saying, “That wasn’t okay.”

If you remember anything, let it be this: People are going to give you who they are, not who you deserve. That doesn’t mean they’re horrible. It means they’re too cowardly and self-serving to do the right thing.

Holding people accountable for how they treat you should be your new vibe. Not with drama, but with honesty, boundaries, and self-respect.

Refusing mistreatment isn’t an attack, and speaking the truth about mean-girl behavior isn’t cruelty. It’s the first sign that you’re valuing yourself and no longer accepting what once kept you small.

Am I right?

Signed, your inner self that knows better.

Want To Read More About Empowerment and Mean Girls?

The Middle School Mean Girls Club Is Very Much Alive in Adulthood

A Letter To My Younger Self

Friendships Later In Life vs Friendships When We’re Younger

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