Nope! Not Happening! The One Thing I Will Not Ever Do

I love my granddaughter more than anything in this world. With every ounce of my being. And all of my heart. I would lift a car off her body. I would walk through fire for her. Jump out of an airplane. Take a bullet. Crush. Maim. Anything for her sake. 

Well, anything except for one teeny, little thing.

Despite changing her stinky diapers, having been barfed on and peed on, and despite removing nose boogers and enduring countless bathtime battles that have included removing a turd or two from the tub, I cannot bring myself to share drinks with her. Am I the only one?

She is almost four years old and mostly drinks from a sippy cup or a water bottle, but her interaction with both of those vessels grosses me out. Is it really necessary to try to stuff the entire straw in her mouth? Or chew and gnaw on it, and the opening of the sippy cup? A small part of her lips would suffice.

And how about those little floaties she leaves behind? Is that not the nastiest thing ever? I don’t even want to know what they are and why there is so much gunk floating around in her mouth, waiting to turn into backwash. 

Sometimes when she drinks out of a regular glass of water, there are lip marks left behind, and I’m not going to lie - I suppress a gag. That is, if I’m lucky enough that she doesn’t spill the contents of the glass on me while bringing it to and from her mouth.

The whole unsanitary mess makes me crazy. When she visits, I’ve resorted to keeping her mermaid water bottle front and center and hiding mine to keep it far away from the tiny but somewhat grubby person I adore.

Now, I’m not a mean, prissy grandma. If she were on the verge of dehydration and desperately needed a sip of my freshly poured water, I would allow her to partake. Of course.

I just wouldn’t drink after her. That’s nasty.