Nobody Is Going To Stand Up At My Funeral And Talk About How…

Back in the 1980s, after college, when I had my first job in the city, I started carrying a Coach purse, dressed head to toe in the latest Liz Claiborne styles, owned a fur coat and dreamed big about my engagement ring. Specifically, I was convinced that when I got engaged, the diamond had to be at least two carats. Hey! I’m a girl! That’s what all my friends are doing and it’s practically required by law that I follow along! This is normal!

I was absolutely convinced that was the miraculous make-me-a-better-person elixir I’d been searching for since I was a teen.

I shit you not. THAT was my thinking. But in reality, I was a gullible, materialistic 20-something who thought flashing the “right” designer label and the “right” size diamond was the key to impressing people and feeling important. (I’m cringing while writing that.)

Fast forward 35 years. The Coach purses? Long gone. Same with the shoes. Maybe I should have covered them with a shroud and carefully preserved them or something because God knows I’ll never have a collection of designer purses again and I’m freaking out thinking about how much money I dropped on that stuff.

What I should have done was focus on the things that really matter. Things like relationships, authenticity, and the love you give and receive. Life is about kindness and loving people, not trying to impress them. Because in the end, what people remember about you is the warmth you shared, the kindness you showed, and the moments of laughter and connection. And let’s be honest, nobody is going to stand up at my funeral and talk about how blown away they were when, back in the day, I was impeccably dressed and had an enviable purse and shoe collection.

Sometimes I think about the younger version of me with jealousy at her slenderness and equal parts of amusement, disgust, and compassion. I wish I could go back in time and slap that new purse out of my hand before I hit the cash register. If I could tell younger me anything, it would be this: You don’t need a giant diamond or a designer label to be worthy. Your true value shines through the love and kindness you give and the life you lead. 

Would she have listened? Probably not. She needed to learn that lesson on her own time.

What about you? Have you ever looked back at your younger self and cringed at what you thought you needed to be happy or accepted? I’d love to hear your stories, because we’re all here together learning, growing, and redefining what truly matters.

In case you needed a laugh, here I am in 1989 looking all fancy ass like I’m

straight off the set of Dynasty. All I’m missing is a dramatic slap scene.