January Has Really Been Januarying This Year
Is it just me, or has January really been Januarying this year? We still have a few days of January to go, but there’s enough time left for all kinds of things to happen. It feels like anything is possible - civil war, an alien invasion, me actually recovering from this flu/sinus infection/laryngitis combination.
For the record, I’m doing better but dealing with low energy, a raspy voice, and a painful pulled muscle from coughing too hard. I finished one prescription, am halfway through a second, and probably going to be on another for three months to help my lungs recover. Don’t even get me started on the cost of that medicine per month…$399 with insurance…okay, I’m started.
I was on a good, long sustained upswing for a while, beebooping through December with Christmas parties and birthday celebrations, exchanging gifts and enjoying good cheer. I miss that. I’m sure one day I’ll be myself again, with the energy to laugh hard at dumb stuff without coughing all over the place. I’m starting to feel more optimistic, although I’m dragging ass around 6 pm and going to bed ridiculously early, not for restorative sleep, but to doomscroll until my eyes give out.
Boy, does being horribly ill give you a different perspective on life. It also shows you how kind people are. Over the past few weeks, people have called or messaged to ask how I was doing, fetched medicine, dropped off books and snacks, entertained me with silly memes or just visited. It made me feel accepted, understood, and safe. I’m not saying I don’t usually feel those things, but as a 60-year-old woman, it seems to be my responsibility to make others feel accepted, understood, and safe, you know, that whole family matriarch thing.
The other day, I gathered enough energy to get my nails done. Yesterday, I got up and showered, dulling a couple of razors as I sheared 30 days' worth of hair off my legs. Then I fetched medicine and groceries - because OMG I was going crazy in this house!
I arrived home famished (Hello, appetite! Welcome back!), ordered Thai food from my favorite restaurant (Hello, Lemongrass!), and, in honor of self-care, sat in bed and ate an entire container of spicy drunken noodles, which satisfied my appetite and cleared my stuffy nose. Then I spent the afternoon in bed watching movies, because my body was still begging for rest. Baby steps!
As January finally winds down, I’m carrying that same baby-step energy into February - small wins and gentle self-care. No grand resolutions, no pressure—just tiny steps forward, one day at a time, as I mentally shout “Be gone January 2026!! You’ve been a shitshow!! Good riddance!!”