Easter Recap And I’m Going To Throw Bill Under the Bus, Again

Over the weekend, when I was doing laundry and piling clean clothes on the bed while simultaneously prepping an Easter brunch for ten people that I was going to schlep forty minutes to my offspring’s house to continue preparing over there after I squeezed in a quick shower to make myself somewhat presentable, hell briefly froze over and Bill offered to “help with the laundry.”

I’m not going to go into how he acted like tending to the mountain of clean clothes on the bed was some type of goody-goody-gumdrop bonus for me, and instead tell you that his idea of “help” was to pull his clothes out of the pile and only fold and put away the items that he wears, leaving all the clean towels, washcloths, and all my clean clothes in a mound that he moved from the bed to the floor.

Boy, what a BIG help that was. It was swell only having to put away my clothes and not everyone else’s clothes, as usual. I hardly knew how to spend those extra six minutes of free time.

A long ass time ago, when I was freshly married, I was still optimistic about Bill eventually getting the hang of household chores, but here we are a few decades later with me turning into Psycho VonBatShit nagging and begging daily while using an I’m-Not-Fucking-Around-Voice-Of God (because asking nicely never works) to coax him into helping with the housework. Instead what’s happened is that Bill seems to have completely lost the ability to hear me and he’s still doing really dumb shit.

In happier, less ranty news, we had a lovely Easter celebration. On Saturday, we attended a well-organized Easter egg hunt and had brunch when we got home. On Sunday, we went to an early breakfast buffet. Later in the afternoon, Bill and I mulched our flower beds. They look much better, and I worked off some of the morning food gorging.

I’m going to call this one “Adorable three-year-old with Lady who has one large arm, one large leg, one slightly smaller leg, is in desperate need of self-tanner and WTF is going on with the Easter bunny’s ears"

The face you make when all you want to do is check out your Easter basket, but you’re ordered to smile for the 39476759493003 picture of the day.

Yo Easter Bunny, my main man! Gimme some skin…or fur.

Hope you had a fun holiday!