Thumbs Down: Carpal Tunnel Is Cramping My Style

A week or so ago, I went to bed feeling fine, only to wake up the next morning with my hand trapped under my head, wedged into the pillow like it was pretending to be a yoga contortionist, and throbbing. The pain didn’t let up after a few days, so I talked to an orthopedist, who diagnosed me with carpal tunnel exacerbated by arthritis because - and I quote - You are at the age when arthritis becomes very common.

Now I get to sport this gloriously clunky black brace, and my hand is on a four-week time out.

I suppose this carpal tunnel sh*t shouldn’t have taken me off guard. After all, I am at the age when arthritis becomes very common, and thank you, young orthopedist, for that heads up, and consider yourself lucky I restrained my fully functioning right hand from bitch slapping you for reminding me that I’m old.

Anyway, what I discovered is that until you lose the use of your thumb, you don’t realize how much of your life depends on having two thumbs. Opening jars, scrolling on my phone, picking up snacks, wielding a blow dryer… suddenly, everything is a thumb survival adventure.

So what the heck caused this? I’m pretty sure it was from making hundreds of anklets recently for the Coconut Barrel (Next time you’re in St. Augustine, check out their new Christmas merchandise, and how was that for a shameless plug?) and then aggravated by sleeping weird like a pretzel. But whatever, I’ve got three words for you: Hurts. Like. Hell.

Sorry for driveling on about thumb pain like it’s a full-time job, and acting like a boring online writer who talks about her thumb pain, but who knew such a tiny digit carried so much power? Maybe I’ll drown my sorrows by hoovering down a package of Oreo’s and enjoying the chocolaty, creamy goodness those little MF’ers briefly bring.

Has anyone else ever been plagued by carpal tunnel? What was your experience?